Finding Him - Saving Her
by reader-chic-2
Summary: June has trouble being around Day - or she should call him Daniel, but she won't. Day can't get enough of the girl who brings back more of his memories than anyone - anything else. Slowly, they work together to push through June's loss and through Day's fight. This is my little idea of how they find each other again.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The magnificent Marie Lu created the wondrous books. I am only showing you all what my imagination would be for how it continues from her ending.**

 **A/N: There's no beta reader so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy this. Has anyone seen the graphic novel? Well, the pictures are great but it was too short for me. :( I hope you all enjoy this!**

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Daniel. He goes by Daniel now. He looks at me with eyes that are forgiving. He touches me with hands that are unknowing. Is it possible for me to be in love with somebody who exists no more? I fear that Day never did return from his coma. He's grown and matured, but so have I. Does that mean I'll still love him? I never thought there was a way for me not to love him. Yet now, standing before _Daniel_ I can't help but feel the immense distance of time.

He checks over his shoulder and frowns. It isn't the frown I was used to seeing – the angry one. He used to be so angry at the world he lived in. At least that much has gone from him. Suddenly, I know what to say. "Come on," I speak, and the irony isn't lost. Sometimes my dreams are about his return. Other times, they are mere memories. Most leave me staring at the ceiling for all of the night. Most are recurring, like the memory of how we met. It was less by chance than anything. I was sent to find him, and I clearly found the physical Day, but I never did find the Day I had been searching for until long after our greeting. In fact, that Day never existed – not in Day himself. My brother's killer was whom I wanted to find. I just didn't realize I had already met him. The real Day saved me and his words were so simple, but I tend to keep a sharp memory. He extended a hand and spoke those very words I just repeated.

Day frowns. He hesitates, and I wonder if he remembers that evening as well. He looks at me with an expression that wasn't uncommon before. He studies me like I used to study him. Those eyes though healed still remember. They still know the harsh ways of our world. We begin our short walk. He and I stay silent. There's so much I want to say to him, so many questions. But I know if I ask any one of them, it might jog his memory. I refuse to bring his pain back to him. I worked so hard to make him forget it.

"You could help me, you know," he finally says. The edge to his words cut deep. That edge was what I loved in him before. He wasn't disciplinary. He wasn't cocky. He wasn't privileged or thought himself to be of much worth. But he wasn't weak. His words were brisk, like they were rare and every one of them meant something. It brings a lump to my throat hearing him speak with that familiar characteristic.

"I could," I agree distantly and shake my head. My hair finds my ponytail and absently plays with it. He watches me out of the corner of his eye.

"Why won't you?" he questions. There is no whiny tone to his voice. He is merely shocked that I won't help him with such a simple task. I take a deep breath.

"Because I didn't mean enough to you to explain it," I lied. I was many things to Day. I was his love. I was who fought with him. I was also pain, and darkness, and death to him. I was the one who brought his world crashing down upon him. I was the one who started it all, who killed his brother and mother. And I was the girl he could never forget yet did.

Day paused in his step before continuing. Now he openly stared at me. I blinked quickly to keep from showing the tears I wanted so badly to let free. Why was he here? I was living my life. I was continuing. I lost my brother, but I never lost Day. He had just moved away to me. He never happened. Now I got to feel the strain of losing a person who was still alive, still beating.

"I find that hard to believe, June," he spoke. I stopped walking all together and clamped my hand over his mouth to hold back a sob. He said my name. He said my name without all the emotion behind it. It was like we had just met and he was unsure using my name. Where was the lust behind it? Where was the world-stopping love in it? Maybe to take away the pain he had to take away everything else, and none of it will ever come back. It's for his best, I tell myself, but not for mine.

"I have to go," I breathe into the chilling air. "There's her building. Floor four, first apartment."

"Wait, June-," he began, and I whimpered as he clamped onto my wrist. His touch was soft and cautious, nothing like it used to be. My heart stops. I can't breathe. I turn around and see exactly what I feared. He was confused, and maybe even a little hurt, but he wasn't angry. He wasn't mad for something so little. He wasn't him.

"I'm sorry, Day, but I just can't be here," I didn't look into his eyes as I tugged my hand away. Secretly, I was hoping for him to follow me, for us to run together and scale buildings and find his brother, for us to go back to those times that we had thought were nothing but over the years became my everything. I lived in those moments. We weren't trying to save the world; we were trying to survive something so brutal nobody dared to speak a word about it. But it was there – this darkness. It infected me, and I poisoned his family because of it.

And it's good he forgot. It's good he won't have to have the horror of knowing the peak of your life happened in such a messed up world. It's good not knowing that the death of his family members brought him to somebody who meant so much to him.

When he was out of sight, I started to sprint to the only place I could think of. He was the only person who didn't remind me of the Day I learned to know. He reminded me of the Day I was sent to track down, the Day I could pretend to hate, the Day I could forget about with Metias' presence. So I went to his grave for the second time today.

Tears blur my vision so much I stumble once or twice when I enter the smooth hall. I wipe frantically at my eyes and fall in a heap in front of his tomb. For a long while, I don't say anything. I just sit and wipe my eyes. Other people come and pass by. Nobody dares to comfort or speak to me just as I don't bother to look to them. Few people come up here anymore, and eventually I conclude I am on my own. I heard the doors open an even number of times.

My bleary eyes look up. "He's here, Metias. He's back." Metias never met Day personally, and I cannot imagine what his reaction to this would be. That thought sobers me up a bit. I sniffle and stop the tears.

"Toughen up, June-bug," would probably be all he would know to say. He'd wrap an arm around me and tell me to talk because talking is better than crying.

"I worked so hard to forget him. And now that he's back, I see that he's just as gone as he ever was." Silence encases the room and I take a deep breath. I whisper my ultimate fear. "What if he is somebody I don't love?" The wisp of a hand caresses my face, or maybe I imagine it. I sit and let the tears roll silently down my face. "I wish you were here. I wish _he_ was here." I brush my hair back. _I wish for someone I remember._

I clear my throat and stand up, walking to the door. When I open it, I feel eyes watching me from behind. Turning around, nobody is there. I blame it on my ghost of Metias. It's late and I need to get home.

. . .

The next day, I go to train as usual. Mornings are better for me than nights. I can feel the air push through my lungs as I run the track. My heads clears as I force myself to forget the night before. I can go on just as before. Day is back, but he doesn't have to be in my life. It will only make him sadder, and I want him to be honest to goodness happy. If that means he's not the same as I remember, then so be it. As long as his life is good, mine can be, too.

A call disrupts my run, and I transfer it to my earpiece. I am met with frantic screaming. " _Where were you last night? You spent another birthday alone! I am failing as a friend, aren't I?"_

For the first time, I feel guilty about my actions last night. I sigh and decide to give her the truth. "I couldn't do it, Tess. He's too much." I admit, hanging my head in defeat. I am strong. I should be able to face Day. But it's not Day anymore.

"He misses you, June," Tess's voice is quiet, like she hates saying it. I stop dead in my tracks. He misses me? He doesn't know me. He doesn't remember anything about me. He couldn't possibly miss me…could he? No. I can't think like that. It will only give me false hope. I cannot afford that.

"Don't toy with me, Tess," I growl, starting my run again. She begins to speak. "I have to finish my run. Goodbye."

I end the call before my emotions get the best of me. Shaking my head, I focus on making up for the lost time by sprinting. I have eighteen minutes left to do three miles. It'll be a stretch, but I've done it before.

Ten minutes later, another distraction catches me so off guard I almost fall. He is here. Day is right there running alongside Pasco. I could kill my friend. Tess must have sent him with Day. They don't seem to notice me, however, and I debate about cutting my run short. Instead, I decide to lengthen it. Leaving won't vanquish my curiosity. I don't intend to be in Day's life. I don't intend to bring him or me pain.

But my heart starts to constrict at the thought of not finding out if he was doing well.

I pick up my pace slowly until I am within hearing range of Pasco and Day. Pasco is doing most of the talking to my disappointment, and it's mainly small talk. There's nothing I hate more than small talk. "So the boy, who only just turned fifteen, walks up to me and starts to ask me how to do this drill. When I send him back to the drill, he does the exact opposite of what I say. Eventually he dropped the weight bar onto his foot and is in a cast." Pasco snorts and shakes his head. "These kids hardly know shit these days."

I roll my eyes. He always has something fundamental to whine about. Tess always handles him well and diverts the topic. I watch Day's reaction, just to see if he's changed completely. The old Day I knew wouldn't have found it as funny as Pasco.

With a soft huff, Day glances over his shoulder and his short hair almost brushes his opposite one. I know I should have moved to avoid being seen, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. His eyes were already mid-roll, and my body sags in relief. Is there a chance he didn't change as much as I feared?

Day did a double take and turned around fully. He looked very surprised. For a second, I waited on his reaction. Would he say something? Would he remember the few times we ran together?

However, my mind knew it had to escape. I lowered my head and ran to his right side. His eyes followed me, bright and brilliant as ever. "Ju-,"

"Excuse me," I murmured and sprinted to the finish by my bag. I didn't look up once until I was by my car. From the parking lot, I could see Day and Pasco. Day's head was tucked and they were racing, but there was a crease in his forehead, like he was troubled. I sucked in a sharp breath. It physically hurt being so near him, knowing more things about him than he does, and also knowing he won't ever figure those things out.

. . .

After work, I was ransacked. Tess, Pasco, and Eden surrounded me. I saw this coming sooner or later. If I kept these close encounters up with Day, they would surely grow aggravated. I sighed and shouldered my bag, looking between them. "What is it now?" I pinched the bridge of my nose. They were watching me carefully, I realized with a start. I squared my shoulders.

"First off, happy birthday," Tess squeezes my shoulder. I smile tightly at her.

"Thank you."

Eden gives me a pained expression. "What are you doing, June? Tell him."

I glare at him. "You know I can't. For what he's done, he deserves to be happy."

Eden argued, "For what he's done, he doesn't deserve to feel like a child." That comment caught me by surprise. "The past ten years, he's tried his hardest to remember. He hates not remembering. He plays it off well, but I am no help to him. You are the only one who was by his side for the majority of his memory loss, June."

My cheeks heated. I nodded curtly. "He should remember, not be told stories."

Tess grabbed my hand earnestly. "He remembers with you around! Day came to the hospital buzzing about a memory _you_ brought out from him when he saw you running this morning."

Fear laced my throat closed momentarily. My eyes went wide and I looked vehemently to her. "What did he remember?"

She shook her head, slightly saddened. "He didn't say. He wasn't upset about it. We scanned his brain. June, he is physically remembering."

I closed my eyes and pushed the tears away. No. This couldn't be happening. I didn't push him to the back of my mind for the last ten years just so he could remember all the pain again. "No," I shook my head and practically begged, but I didn't know who to beg. "He-,"

"He wants this, June. He's learned to move on from our family's deaths." Eden said nervously, like he was withholding something. I watched his hands twiddle with the hem of his shirt. His eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"What are you hiding?" I asked. Eden groaned.

"A while ago, I told him that the past held memories that made him an entirely different person. I didn't realize…I was just a kid," he mumbled, finally looking into my eyes. "You recognized it, too. I know you did. You saw he's not completely…him."

I nodded, not exactly following. Tess explained it. "For the past ten years, he's felt that about himself, June." She gave me a second to let that sink in. "Can you imagine? He hates that he's changed, that he's missing information that made him Day."

"He's willing to pay you ten thousand notes if you help him regain the crucial memory, dammit." Pasco, always low tempered, finally shouted. My heart stopped. Nobody saw this coming, not even me. Day wanted to regain the pain, knowing full well that it made him a totally different person. If he was any bit still himself, he wouldn't stop until he remembered.

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 **A/N: Thoughts? Good or bad? I'm guessing this will be about five chapters, more or less this length. It's short, yes, but their love won't take forever. Please review, follow, favorite, and/or PM me! I know this isn't commonly read (boooooo) so let's get thee reviews before the next chapter? Pweassee?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The magnificent Marie Lu created the wondrous books. I am only showing you all what my imagination would be for how it continues from her ending.**

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I should have thought of this. I knew Day. Tess and I knew him the best, but it was my decision to not tell him about the war. I should have known. Day and I were from opposite worlds, but we had the same mindset about most things. But he told me once of how much agony he feels when he looks at me, almost as much as the love he felt. It was a constant battle for him to be with me.

I don't want that. I want to feel the love he once held for me. I want to finally get to say those words back to him. It tortures me inside to have him here and not hold him, not kiss him, not love him, but I didn't want him to look at me and see his mother's death. I didn't want to be a trigger. It hurts still knowing he used to feel that way about me. We loved each other so passionately that it over rid my guiltiness, but that never meant he forgot. Now that he finally did, how am I supposed to help him get that tortured look on his face again every single time he saw me? I want his eyes to light up the way they did when he asked about Eden in the hospital. I want his heart to flutter in relief when he sees me walk safely in the room like he does with Tess. I want him to look at me the way he looked at me the first time we kissed, without any blame or heartache.

The doorbell rang. That was quick of him. Tess convinced me to at least hear him out. I agreed and said he could come over now, considering I'd get to my apartment before he did. It took him only six minutes and thirty eight seconds to walk here.

I open the door, half expecting to see the teenage boy with bright eyes that could cut through metal if he was angry enough. I see another form of him, but it is not one I was expecting to meet. Day is angry. He's angry with me, to be exact. He waits for me to invite him in, as he always did, but there is no smile. "Come in, Day," I blurt out, hoping to get the look off his face. He nods in greeting and walks to my living room, taking in the sight before his eyes. It looks like he's trying to place something. His eyes land on my bedroom door. It is unique, I'll admit. Since I wear a uniform, I can't wear the paperclip ring Eden made for me. He sent it from Antarctica, claiming to have made it himself, but I had my doubts.

Day's first ring looked too similar to this ring. The way the metal twists around each other and flows is too familiar. Clearly, Day thinks so too.

"Where did you get that?" he asks. This catches him off guard, and the angry seems to have dissipated. I walk to his side, reluctant.

"I'm not too sure. Eden said he made it, but.."

He is in a daze. His eyes don't leave the paperclip for fifty seconds. I study him. His hands are clenched tightly together, and a crease has formed on his forehead again. "Day?"

He shakes his head and looks to me. "I made that." I nodded slowly. "Somebody made me one." He holds up his hand. My breath catches in my throat at the memory. He made me one that saved my life. I had hoped this would save his, too. "So I made one and told Eden to send it to whomever made this one."

"He did." I note. Day is still working through a memory block. I can see his brain working in frustration. Half of me hopes he never gets through the fog while the other half is dying for the old Day back.

"But this wasn't the first one I made?" his question is unsure. I take a breath. How much is safe to tell him? How much am I willing?

"We should talk, Day," I gesture to the couch. He hesitates a moment, looking back once at the ring before sitting on the couch. I feel a pull to sit next to him just to be closer. My childhood hormones seem to have not left me. I sit on the chair beside him instead. "I'm not taking your money." A smile forms on his lips. My mind is in wonder. He used to never smile so freely. I am surprised to find that I like that.

"I know," he admitted with a blush. "It grabbed your attention, yeah?" Hearing him talk with his old Lake Sector slang sends a pain in my chest. Sometimes, I used to envy his memory loss. At least he didn't know he fell in love and lost the person. At least he didn't spend his days reliving their love story. He didn't know what he lost. It had to have been a blessing.

"Yes, it did."

His smile is still there. It is bright and made me want to smile just as much. "What ever happened to getting to know each other?" He tries to start it out light, but I can't let this last longer than it should.

"The problem is I already know you," I say, looking analytically into his eyes. Behind the bright blue isn't exactly a light. I supposed even after forgetting the rough pieces of his life, his childhood was enough to suppress the childhood glimmer of happiness. But it was there. For a time before he lost his memory, I worried he had no light, that I had stolen it all.

"And I used to know you, too," Day concluded. I nodded. He sighed and sat back on the couch. He held my gaze for a full minute before speaking. "Do you remember your brother's death, June?"

My heart skips a beat. He knows too much information. I pray he asked Eden previously. If he remembers that much, the other memories are soon to surface. "How-?"

"Tess gave me the rundown. I asked why you are so closed off," he blushes again. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Yes, I remember it."

"Tell me about it?" he asks. I frown. This wasn't going how I expected. Metias had very little to do with Day. However, if he wants to know this, I am more than willing. I owe him information, I suppose, but some information I refuse to give. The more I can give the better.

"He wouldn't take me out on patrol," I begin. He is watching me as I speak, trying to remember each word. He honestly wants to know about this. It's not for his personal gain or loss. He just wants to know more. About me? "This was before the revolution. When, er, a wanted criminal stole medicine for the plague, Metias was about to capture him. But my brother was too slow. The escaper threw a knife into his left shoulder, missing vital organs. He – he would have been fine if taken inside. Instead, a fellow officer killed him and tried to blame it on the escaper."

Day speaks slowly. "I was the criminal." It is no surprise he guessed it. He isn't an idiot. I nodded slowly, looking at my hands. He reaches over and takes my hand. Electric currents move from his light touch throughout my body. I take a sharp breath. "I'm sorry about your brother."

I close my eyes and nod. "I know. You said that before," I admit. Then, I look up as he moves his hand away. "You have a point to this."

He nods briefly. "Imagine waking up one day forgetting his death. It's years into the future and you can't remember the last years of your life. When you hear that he died, you don't get to know the details. You don't remember the crime scene. You can't think through your thoughts and figure out how it happened, why it happened."

I know where he's going with this.

"That's how I've felt for the last ten years," he finally says. I take a shuddering breath and look up. Emotion seeps through my eyes as I try to fight off tears. His are calm and collected but very serious. They are as serious as they used to be when he and I were planning his escape from prison the first time. He is deadly. He is lethal. But something is holding him back.

"It must be hard, but you don't understand," my eyes plead with his to get it. He has to understand why I did it, why I hid it from him. "You looked at me and felt death. I look at you and felt love. How can that be fair? How can I work with you to get back your memory when it caused you such resentment? Of me, of the Republic, of yourself?"

Day's hand is on mine again. He squeezes and looks at me with desperation. "I don't want to live a life that's not mine. I went through hell. I started a revolution, I'm told. And I don't remember any of it – the struggles, the fighting, the turning point, the low point. I'm living a lie, June. If there's a way to fix that, I need to try."

I open my mouth to protest, but he is faster. He's always been faster.

"It's not your choice anymore. If you loved me once, you'll do this for me."

Day's gaze is far too intense than I expected. It reminds me of the night we shared together. He looked at me with a deeper passion than I had ever seen. His expression now is just as powerful in a different emotion. I can't turn him down. I can't fight him any longer. If this is what he's chosen to do, then so be it. He's had ten good years. He's seen what the war did to Tess and Eden, at least, and knows his experience was much worse. He's right. It's not my decision.

"Okay."

. . .

I knock twice on the door. Tess is quick to open the door. Her balcony doors are open, letting in the fresh air. She smiles warmly and shuts the door behind me. "I'm so glad you came, June. Eden has some great news," she chirps as she continues her way into the kitchen. Pasco is cooking the chicken while she is fixing the mashed potatoes. Nobody ever knew until they got their apartment together, but Pasco is a great cook. I never told Tess, but he's better than her. "They are on the balcony. Go on."

My heart rate increases as I step on to the small terrace. Day and Eden are talking lightly on a topic, leaning out over the railing. I clear my throat, causing them both to turn around. Day's eyes travel hotly down my body in a way that makes my head swim. I remember the day in we trained, and it was the first sexual innuendo he ever spoke to me. Neither of us joked often, but he had his moments.

I smile at Eden, then at Day, and my gaze falls on that familiar pendent. Though he fell into money, he never did dress up like royalty as I once imagined. _"Don't tell me money doesn't matter."_ That was one of the harder fights we had. I wince at the memory, and Day notices.

"I'm getting a call," Eden ruffles in his bag for his phone, closing the door on his way into the kitchen. I notice he still hasn't answered his 'call.'

Day raises an eyebrow. "What was that?" he asks.

"What? You checking me out? I was going to ask the same thing." I smile at him. He grins at me as I lean against the railing beside him. He stays quiet, awaiting my answer. "I was remembering a fight we had once."

"We fought?" Day frowns. I snorted. He had a perfect idea in his head, didn't he?

"Oh yes," I admit. A small smile formed on my lips. "I've grown to appreciate that. What we had withstood some hard blows. It meant a lot to both of our characters that we could see past that."

Days frowns, like he knows he's missing something he should have. "So. You were a republic soldier when we met. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I try to stay clear of them?"

I smiled softly and looked to him. He was joking around to make the memory loss less harsh. "Yes. I went undercover – to find you actually. I just didn't know it was you."

Day nods his head. "I've had so many dreams. Now that I know your face, I know they were about you." He admits. My heart flutters in response. I shove it back down. There was no need for this. After he figures it out, I don't know if he'll want to be with me. "I can't figure out which are dreams or memories."

"You can ask me," I allow. I made a deal with him that I would help in any ways I could, but I wouldn't just tell him our story. If I did that, he'd never remember, and he'd never get the feelings that come with the memories. And that's what will determine if his blame for me is still there.

"Did you save Tess's life in a Skiz fight?"

"Yes."

"Did you dress up as a hook-,"

"You don't have to finish that," I blush. "It was life or death. Yes."

Day chuckles and brushes his blonde hair from his eyes. "I wasn't complaining." I roll my eyes. "You're the girl who made the nightmares go away, yeah?"

I falter at his final question. Nightmares? I knew Day had nightmares, but were they so often enough that they would slip through his memory dam? "I wouldn't know." He sounded very sure of the statement. His eyes close and he turns his head out to the sky, looking for stars behind his closed eyes. It's a mute effort, much like his search for memories. "That must have been alarming to wake up years later with no memory."

Day sighed deeply. "I was scared for a long time. I was scared of what people told me. I was scared of anyone but Eden, but I never really told anyone that," he opened his eyes and peered down at me. Our height difference grew by two inches. Sometimes I forgot that the Day I fell in love with was only a teenager, still growing, still maturing. "June, I don't remember _memories,_ but I remember my feelings, my thoughts."

I blink. What did he mean by that?

"I can remember two things that I'm sure of. One was that I used to be so angry over my mother's and brother's deaths. Obviously, I haven't forgotten them, but I can put it behind me better than I've been told I did as a kid."

Tess probably gave him a run down of it. She has a way with words that put a closing feeling on the event.

"And number two?"

"I was in love, wasn't I?" Day asks, stepping closer to me. My chest heaves with each breath. He is so close to me. I haven't been this close to him since before. Memories flood my brain. My eyes blink shut briefly as the emotions rush through my heart. I flutter them open, forcing myself to look at Day as he speaks. I can hardly tell a difference from his stare and the one he used to look at me with. He still has a brooding look on the outside, but inside I see a childlike uncertainty, almost fear. His eyes are searching for any ground to grip on like he was scaling a particularly hard building and has been cornered. "The kind of love somebody doesn't get over."

I am trembling. I didn't come here to cry. I didn't come here to break down in front of Day, no matter how much he reminded me of the boy I once would show any emotion to. "Yes."

His hand moves to my cheekbone. I feel lightheaded and can hardly breathe. Why is he doing this? He doesn't know me. He's holding back memories from my knowledge. I intend to figure them out, but for now I can't begin to move.

When I open my eyes, his face is very close. His blue orbs flicker to my lips, but he hesitates. Despite the agonizing pain in my heart, I know he isn't ready for this step. Neither am I, and I have to admit it to him.

"Please," I whisper, my voice quivering. "Don't kiss me. Because if you kiss me…" I trail off. My body and heart will finally impact my mind, making me think the old Day is here. But he's not. And I need to understand that. "I'll think you're him. And I c-can't lie to myself."

Day stares deeply at me. The little imperfection in his eye is still there, just like the almost unnoticeable limp he owns due to his knee problems. His blonde hair is shorter, but it still wisps away in the wind, licking at my face. His hand moves to the back of my head.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers as he pulls me into a hug. My body is under attack, under too much shock to hug him back. His warmth surrounds me. I never expected it to feel so much like normal, so much like home. "I didn't think this would hurt you so much."

I feel a tear slip down my cheek. Every encounter with Day I end up crying. He has such a pull over me. I'm not an emotional girl, and yet he had put his clamps deep within me, so much that he became an addiction. I pulled away once because I would end up killing the mind of my addiction. Now, it seemed like the opposite.

But I welcomed the pain.

"At least I'm feeling something."

* * *

 **A/N: Shout out to the reviewers/favorites/follows. Actually, that was pretty good for a practically dead fandom. Seriously, why does nobody read this series? It's so good that I have reread it twice now and I'm on a Legend kick so I've been wearing my hair in a high ponytail in tribute of June. Yayy!**

 **Lemme see some loveee:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The magnificent Marie Lu created the wondrous books. I am only showing you all what my imagination would be for how it continues from her ending.**

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Day's POV

She's this spirit that's been crushed. I can see it every time she looks at me. It's like she's holding something back out of habit or on purpose. It hurt to do this. Sometimes, I wonder if this will be worth it for her. She said she hurt me. She said she owed me. But didn't I owe her? She kept this pain out of my head for ten years. She kept me from agonizing about a girl who loved and hurt me. Didn't I owe it to her to do the same?

Her body shakes underneath mine, and I squeeze her tighter. I wish I could tell her that it's okay, that I'm not scared to death by how intense these emotions are. But I'd be lying. It does scare me because I know if she feels this way after ten years apart, we couldn't have had a little fling. It angers me, too, that I may never remember being a part of it.

June Iparis.

I rub her back and her arms finally respond. I let out a breath of air. Each night after seeing June, I seem to get a sliver of memory. It's normally not a full one, and it always leaves me confused, but it is something familiar. It's something I can remember.

Except, with each memory I grow greedier. I want more. I want to remember how we fell in love. I want to remember our first kiss. I want to remember why we fought. I want to remember the bad things, too. I want to know what's so bad about her. The possibilities are endless. She's a viper, ready to strike and move while still studying her target at the same time. She is dangerous. But that danger ignites something in me. She's darker than most girls, fiercer, and overall radiant.

I have emotions for her that doesn't make sense to me. My eyes follow her every move. My mind drifts off to her face when I'm bored. I have the overwhelming urge to comfort her in ways that won't work. If I tell June that I'm here for her, it will make her cry. She'll cry for the fact that I am here for her, but the Day she knew isn't.

A knock on the patio door makes us jump apart. June turns around, wiping at her eyes. I block her from view and see Eden giving me a suspicious look. I frown. My brother clearly knows about June's and mine past. He kept it a secret from me for ten years.

"Come on," I say, releasing her from my arms. She seems reluctant to go. "Dinner is done."

We take a seat beside each other without question. Tess jumps into a conversation with June, who speaks less than I realized. I wonder why that it. I wasn't a big talker, either, but she seems even less than me. Every word is calculated. She thinks things through twice before ever making a move. Her eyes are always scanning the area on high alert as well. A vague memory pushes through my mind.

We were in a large, expensive room. Most of what I felt was sharp pain around my knee, worse than it ever had been before. I was leaning heavily on a girl – on June in her little outfit. Two other people were there, but their faces escaped my mind. Words were exchanged and June closed her eyes, pulled out a knife, and hit a target I had no idea was there. I was impressed and…oh goodness, I was turned on, as well. Even with a war going on, I was still a teenager.

Tess was there, too. For some reason, I can't remember any words beyond the distinct ones. _Elector primo dead. Princeps-elect. Anden. Loyalty to the Patriots._

That one surprises me. I don't remember being loyal to the patriots at all. Clearly, things happened to me before this. My knee was never that bad on its own. A wave of jealous washed over me in the memory. Then a nameless girl showed June and I to the bathroom.

That was when the vision started to get hazy. One minute we were discussing something in hushed tones. Then I read my lips. "I love you." I had said.

There is nothing after that. I frown. No! It was getting interesting. I was just getting to the parts that affected me now. I knew I was in love, but I wasn't sure just how in love I was. Even in my immense pain, even with Tess around, all I could focus on was this girl. The emotions I felt came running back to me about that night. June in her outfit. June's impressive abilities. June, June, June.

If I pushed against the fog, however, I could feel an under layer of a different emotion. There wasn't a name to describe it. Betrayal seemed to fit it, but it wasn't that strong. I was still feeling the loss of my brother, a memory I've yet to regain, but it was mixed with that little hint of betrayal. Who was it focused towards? Why was there this feeling when I was in the bathroom with June, confessing my love to June?

"Day!"

And just like that, I escape my memory. Blinking, I come into focus. Everyone is staring at me. Tess and Pasco are confused. June looks scared, nervous even. She has seen me zone out before in memory. Why is she so scared for me to get my memory back was my question? Then there is Eden. I remember when he was younger. He would help me through my worst headaches. In Antarctica, he would cover for me or just watch me when I zoned out. I'd wake up out of a memory and he'd be there, grinning like a cat. He claimed those were much easier to help me with than the headaches. Apparently, they happened a lot towards the end. Right now, he owns that same grin.

"That's the longest flashback you've ever had," he is jumping up and down in his chair with excitement. "What was it about? It's been years since I've seen a flashback!"

I clear my throat. My eyes connected with June's. She was there for it. Despite the beginning being open, it ended in a personal matter. Her eyes reflect mine in contemplation. I enjoyed that one particularly because I got to see how June and I acted around each other. We weren't all over each other - until we got alone. In public, we were business. Even alone, we were serious. I held admiration for that fact. We grew up in too dangerous a world not to be serious most of the time.

"It was – it was nothing. Just memories of running, that's all," I brush the question away quickly. Eden sends me a knowing look. I am sure we will be discussing my memory in further detail tonight. He always pesters me about them. I secretly think Eden wishes he could have seen the war from my perspective, just one, too.

"Yeah, 'nothing' my ass." Tess teases. "You are just as see-through as you were ten years ago, Daniel."

I send her a mischievous look and kick her feet under the table. She shakes her head in a fit of laughter, and I can't help but laugh, too. June is watching us with an odd expression. She looks slightly disturbed. It is probably the name thing. Everyone else has no problem calling me Daniel, as I've asked. But June never even tried out the name, and I can't say I've been urging to correct her. I have many memories going by Day. It makes me feel young and rebellious to be called by my street name, like all that I went through in those times still means something to her. I decide to keep it just for June only.

"You remember me beating you?" Pasco breaks the tension to my relief. A smile slips onto my lips.

"No, but I don't think that's a memory I have," I counter. Everyone laughs and the conversation is back to normal. Throughout the rest of dinner, however, I keep glancing at June. She participates, I noticed, as much as she knows how. It doesn't matter to me. Every word she says has meaning. It makes them all very special.

. . .

For the rest of the week, I run with June on the track. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don't, but so far I haven't gotten another memory back. There will be little flutters of emotion, but I have to wonder if it isn't my imagination, or even my real feelings as of this moment. Nothing new came, but that was okay. June prefers it that way.

Sometimes she will tell me about the war. I got the overview of what happened in the Republic, though I knew that already. I don't tell her that. I love hearing her speak. Being part of the war, she has more emotion and description about it than the computer system in Antarctica. Besides, when she talks, I am free to watch her. I love watching the way her lips form words, the way her eyes take in the scenery every minute or so, the way her long ponytail flies through the wind.

These watching tendencies I have of her kind of freak me out. I just met the girl, but clearly I didn't. Clearly, we spent a lot of close time together if I built up these habits that are so hard to break.

It's not until she misses her morning run that the next vision occurs. There was this tugging notion in the back of my mind. " _I know June, and she's not like this."_

I pass Pasco on the way out. Since my arrival, I've mainly helped him train kids at the institute. It's not a particularly hard job, but I enjoy the running and scaling buildings part. When he asked why I couldn't be here today, I explained. "June isn't one to deviate from her schedule. I'm going to check on her."

Pasco nods his head and lets me go, but then he runs up to my side. Aggravated, I look at him impatiently. "How did you know she's not one to deviate?"

I frown. How did I know? I didn't in my mind. There were no instances where she mixed things up, but it had only been a week since we met. It was just something I knew. I shrugged. "Old memory, I guess?" Pasco shoots me a grin and then frowns, as if remembering something.

"Hey, Eden got her a dog as a late birthday present. You don't think that would change anything?" Pasco asks before the headmaster calls him back. He shrugs and runs off. A dog. For some reason, I have a feeling that this dog situation may just be the cause of her disappearance. She's probably not in danger, but I decide any reason to check up on her is a good one.

I jog the couple of blocks to her apartment. Eden has a car, but I've refused to get one. I don't like it. If I lived on these streets as a kid, I can at least walk on them. I knock once on her door, but she doesn't answer. I know again and am responded to

by a thud on the door. This alarms me so I burst through, finding it surprisingly unlocked.

Before me lies a shoe she must have thrown at the door. But I don't see her out here. "Tess, no more surprises. I can't take it," June's voice sounds strained with tears. Directly across from me is the open door to her bedroom. I wander toward it, cautious for some unknown reason.

When I walk through the door, she is sitting on the bed. Her arms are wrapped around a white little dog. Clearly, the dog means a lot to June because she is crying. An angry frown would make you think otherwise, but I can see the salty liquid glistening on her cheeks. She has the matching shoe cocked and ready but drops it when she sees me. "Oh, D-Day," June says, but her voice sparks a fire inside my mind, clearing way through heavy fog.

June and I were talking, but I remember the topic. I was scared. What was I scared about? She said I love you despite my trembling hands. "I'm so afraid, June. So afraid of what might happen to-,"

She stopped my shaking lips with a finger. "Fear makes you stronger," June whispered, and then she kissed me. It was the weirdest thing to remember. It's like I can feel her hands on me, her body underneath mine as we twisted and stumbled into her room. We were blind – blindly kissing, blindly in the sense of safety, but mostly we were blindly in love. I can see it now. I can feel it. All my fears, all my thoughts, all my decisions…they revolved around her. It hurt as much as it did feel good. Loving her was so incredibly painful. My heart ached in her absence, but it also ached with her beside me.

She was wild, untamed. Her heart was open to the taking, but only for me. Her love had been obvious before that night, but I had been too blind to see it. She and I kissed like it might be our last kiss. We loved like that, too.

And she's had to hold this night in her head forever, all by herself. She's had to forget the love we shared. Nobody else could have possibly known to the extent of our passion for the other. It was unhealthy, unholy, but it was damn sure there and stubborn as hell on leaving.

"Day?" June sniffles from under her covers, still clutching at the dog. My eyes lock on her. She didn't change much. If anything, she grew into a more elegant woman. Her hair is even in the same style as that night. A fire ignites in my heart.

I had her. I had her in my arms, in my grasp to be one hundred percent mine. And I left.

I move to her side. I'm angry – not with her. I'm angry at my brain for not remembering no matter how hard I push. I'm angry I ever forgot. How could I have forgotten her? How could I have forgotten the girl who changed my life? How could I have forgotten my June?

"What did you do?" I demand. I have to know. These feelings inside are too strong to have such a simple story. I know too much now. She blinks in shock. "I can't handle these feelings for you any longer without _knowing_."

She sits up straighter, almost as if she were cutting off something. Her eyes look into mine, and just like always she sees right through me. Her shoulders sag after a second and she scoots over, still cradling the dog in her lap. I sit precariously on the edge of the bed, ready to spring at any moment. "You remembered our night, didn't you?"

The tears are shining brightly in her eyes, once again. I sigh. I didn't want to tell her. It sounds like a dick move. "Yes." I breathe, looing into her eyes for the right words to convince her – to convince her to be mine again. "And it hurt." She sucked in a sharp breath and I grabbed her hand. "It hurt how much I knew I'd lose you. In some way, I knew I'd leave you. I – I don't know those details, but I know this much. You and I weren't a fling. You and I came into each others lives and changed them forever. No matter _what_ you did, the outcome is how it's supposed to be."

June shakes her head, looking at her hands. "I can't-,"

"Even if I wake up tomorrow and remember every detail, it's in the past. I refuse to let it affect me because there's only one thing that's not in the past." She looks up at this, and I realize my voice has grown louder. I tone it down to a whisper. "That's you. You and me." June is at a loss for words. She just looks at me with those big eyes of hers. I continue on. "So many things here feel foreign no matter how many times Eden or Tess insist I knew it well. Half the time, I feel like I'm back on the streets of Lake unsure where my next meal is because this world is too different than I remember it being. But you are the one thing here at home that feels right, that feels like you belong in my life, with me. No matter if I forget or not."

June sucks in a shaking breath of air. She nods her head as her tears flow. We stay silent while she collects herself, and even a few minutes after. While she pets her dog, I watch her hands work. They are so strong despite how tiny they look. A faint memory of staring at her hands in a dark tunnel as we walked-as I carried her pops into my mind.

She speaks, but not to my face. Her free fist clenches as she begins. "I was sent on a mission to find you – to find my brother's killer. Day." Her eyes met mine with a sad, tired pain. "Nobody had your picture, though. When you and Tess helped me, I stuck with you for a few days on the street. I followed you to your mother's house, watching as you did your best to get Eden the cure." She took a pause here, like it hurt to say. "Then the next night, you kissed me. After, you got flustered and reached for your pendant – the one left at the crime scene…so I turned you in."

I nodded for her to continue, and her voice was clogged with tears.

"But you are so fast, and we had to corner you. We sent soldiers for Eden, and you came, trying to hide them. One the roof, you wouldn't come down. And I stood directly beside the commander as she ordered for your mother's execution." Silence. She took in a deep breath of air and looked in her lap again. "We captured you. Just before your public execution, John and I tried to get you out alive. But we ran out of time, and he took you place. I begged him not to go, Day. He wouldn't listen, and we needed the time." She looked up into my eyes, bleary and guilt ridden. "I led the soldiers to your house. I showed them where to kill your mom. I got your brother killed. I did, Day, me. Do you see now? Every time you looked at me, you looked at them being shot, being murdered."

"I never intended for any of that to happen, but it did, Day." June sighs, looking at me expectantly. She thought I was going to have a burst of angry energy, I suppose. I take a deep breath. I need to think about what I say to her. I can't lose her.

I turn fully towards her, cradling her face with my eyes. She looks torn to pieces with worry. "Look where we are, June." She frowns, not expecting this. It's not often I surprise her. "Outside is a better world than it was twenty years ago. I'm not sure how much trauma was inflicted by the war, but I know my life is better than it was before. I would give many things to have my mother and brother back, but they died for a reason, for a good cause."

June shakes her head. "See, Day, you didn't think this before. You used to want to turn everything around to get them back. You-,"

I grip her shoulders. "That was before it ended! That was before I saw what happened because of them. That was before I heard I wasn't dying - that my brother wouldn't be alone... It was before I knew I could have you for the rest of my life," I am yelling at this point, trying my hardest to get the point across. Can't she see? "You're all I want."

June looks at me with her intense, analytical gaze. She pulls the words from my mouth before I can think. "I can remember the pain I once had when I looked at you. I can, but it doesn't affect me any longer. I've gotten past that. I've gotten past most of it, but not you. It makes very little sense to me, but you are like a drug. I see you and I feel at home. I see you and I just want to be by your side."

I lift my hand. "I made you one of these for a reason. I didn't forget how much it means to have one."

June looks at me with a flicker of hope, but then it's gone. She stares at me, doing her best to pull from that hope. Her eyes are swirling with emotion. "You're there, aren't you?"

I nod into her hand, which has risen to cup my cheek. Suddenly, June throws her arms around my neck and flies into me. We fall back against her bed frame. Her tears soak into my shirt, but I don't complain. My hands wrap around her waist and I hold her tightly.

Despite the growing need to kiss her, I don't. It would be cruel to play with her emotions like that. I lift her into my lap and sit up straighter. After a while, she stops sniffling and just stares at me like I do to her. Her long ponytail tickles my hand, and I give it a playful tug. She smiles. "What did you remember, Day?"

I give her an impish smirk. "You already know." A blush creeps on to her cheeks. She nods her head in memory, biting that pesky lip of hers. "Why were you crying - before I came in?"

Her eyes shift over to the dog that is chewing on her discarded throwing shoe. She rests her head on my shoulder and smiles warmly. "Tess got me a dog and he looks exactly like Ollie." She sighs. "You met Ollie. He was my rock. He was there before everything started, before my brother died, and he was there after you left. He died a while back, and it was terrible. This dog reminds me of him."

I look at the dog. It's cute and young, no bigger than a year old. I want to say so much to her about Ollie. "I wish I could remember him." "I'm so sorry you ever needed a rock." Instead, I ask, "What's his name?"

June thinks for a second. "Rebel," she says. I know exactly why she chose that. Her memories of me were during the rebellion, during her rebellious times. She was a rebel as much as I was, possibly more so. I look to her and lift my lips in greeting. An overwhelming urge to kiss her grows inside of me. It hurts to restrain myself. I feel so much closer to June than I actually am. Or maybe it's the other way around. I am close to June despite fact in my mind saying I'm not. She withstood a war at my side. That type of experience creates a bond between people that's hard to break.

"Rebel," I test it out. She smiles at me. "I like it."

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you all liked it. It's going along kind of fast, but it happened fast between them the first time. Granted, they got through some tough shit together, but...**

 **Shout out to thegreatmushroom (love the name) for reviewing! I know it's not a popular fandom (IDK WHY) so any reviews/favs/follows are awesome! And trust me, I felt the same way. I couldn't go on until I figured out a solid ending, but nobody really got _it_. When I write, I always feel like I got _it_ even if I don't, so I'm glad you think so!**

 **Until next time :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The magnificent Marie Lu created the wondrous books. I am only showing you all what my imagination would be for how it continues from her ending.**

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After that morning, I try less to remember. I have what I want. It has been an overwhelming week of memories, too. Two full memories was what I would be lucky to get in a year in Antarctica, much less in one week.

We are cooking in my kitchen one evening when she asks something everyone has been dying to know. Well, June never really asks things. She notices something peculiar and mentions it. "You have everyone else call you Daniel, but you are yet to correct me."

A smile tugs at my lips. "Yes, you're special." She leaves a pregnant pause in the air that makes me continue. "I like hearing that name again. It's been a long time."

June chuckles as she mixes the mashed potatoes. "You joke so easily on your memory loss. Why?"

I shrug and step beside her, placing the pan in the oven beforehand. "In Antarctica, we didn't really speak of it. Eden and I were separated for most of the time."

"Now that you're back, you're readdressing it," June finishes for me. I run a hand through my hair and nod.

"You know my snot for a brother moved out, yeah?" I shake my head in thought. June sends me a grin. She spins around places the potatoes on the table.

"That's almost insulting, I'm sure," she smiles, clearly faking sympathy. I pretend to be offended.

"It very much is! Thank you so very much for recognizing that, Miss Iparis!" I said, lunging at her legs. Being turned around, she doesn't see me coming and shrieks as I pick her up and throw the girl over my shoulder.

"Day! Put me down, you – ah!" she yells, but I throw her over my shoulder on my bed. My fingers fly to her stomach. She is in a fit of unstoppable giggles for about five seconds before her hands clamp down on my wrist. It is at this moment that I know I'm in for it. The next second, she has rolled us over and is straddling my waist, grinning defiantly above me. "Next time I won't give you your four seconds of fun."

I breathe heavily, as does she. My eyes wander from her face downward. My hands, previously on her knees, move upward slightly. If she notices – which I know she does because she notices everything – she doesn't mention a word. Instead, she leans forward with her deadly expression. I don't know if she's going to hit me or kiss me. June's soft lips whisper into my ear, "Don't look so scared, Day."

She doesn't lean away very far, and I smirk up at her. "I am not – quite the opposite actually." I wink, and a red blush spreads along her cheeks. I refuse to look away. It doesn't escape my mind that we've had to have been in this position before but in a much more intimate way.

She seems to be waiting for something. She's waiting on me, I realize with smugness. Her twinkling eyes darken, and she must recognize something here, too. She begins to climb off me, but I grab the thigh she's lifted and swing that one under me as I flip us over. She sucks in a sharp breath of air. I look into her eyes to make sure she's oriented before I make my move.

Then, I lean down and press my lips to hers. I half expect her to pull away in fear, as if she's kissing a ghost. But instead of thinking about the old Day, she's thinking one hundred percent about me.

June's half lidded eyes pull me back in. My lips attach hers with more force this time. I relax my lower half in between her legs, groaning when she wraps them around my waist. I know one thing - I taught her well. I don't know how many guys she kissed in my absence or before even, but either way I taught her how to really kiss. This much I know.

I kiss down her cheek and past her neck to her upper collar bone that's exposed, fully planning to save her neck for last. It makes most girls moan. But then she jumps up.

"The food!" Her voice is coated with lust. Clearly it hurt her to pull away. I'm sure she guessed my plan. I growled in annoyance as the time starts going off. Her awareness didn't come to my aid tonight. She is taking the chicken out of the oven and placing it on a platter as I come out. June is humming a quiet tune. I'll be damned if she didn't know how attractive she could be.

No. I am going to finish what I started.

I walk up behind the fit girl and wrap my hands around her waist. She gasps, intending to turn around, but I grip her hips hard. "Da-," she stops when I move her long ponytail aside. My lips press into her warm, pulsing neck.

She falls back into me with a sigh as I suck and nip at her soft skin. I enjoy it just as much as she does. "Oh Day," she sighs in a deeper voice than I've ever heard her use.

Then my stomach growls. I chuckle against her skin and whisper in her ear. "Let's eat."

I nip her ear and hop to my seat. June had previously set her plate across from mine on the opposite bench. Now she moves it directly beside mine, sitting very close. I grin. I could get used to this. Her foot intertwines with mine and we start the meal. Yes, I could get used to this.

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 **A/N: Sorry it's so short. I hope you all like the ending!**


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